A survey conducted by America Online from November 1998 through November 1999 revealed that 52% of men and 42% of women respondents answered ‘yes’ to the following question: "Have you ever been in love with someone online?" This is particularly interesting when one considers that over 70% of those who responded to the survey stated that they were married. This information allows us to conclude there are a substantial number of married people who have found "love" on the Internet outside of their marriages. There is little wonder that illicit relationships are formed via online chatting with someone of the opposite sex. After all, communications are private, anonymous, and convenient which promotes an increased risk for developing emotional ties outside of a person’s primary committed relationship.

Cyberaffairs are more common than most people realize and are taking a significant toll on marriages. The president of the American of Matrimonial Lawyers, John Quittner, indicated in the April 14, 1997 issue of Time magazine that there has been a notable rise in the number of divorce cases involving cyberaffairs. When respondents to the America Online survey were asked, "Do you believe that cybersex (online verbal intimacy) with someone other than one’s current spouse or sweetheart is cheating?" 45% answered ‘yes’ to this question. In another survey conducted by MSNBC News concerning the Internet, 49% of the 29,405 respondents stated that they thought cybersex is cheating.

From a moral perspective, many people believe that cybersex with somone other than one’s spouse is a form of adultery even though there is no sexual contact. Pamiglia Cristiana (Christian Family), a magazine closely tied to the Vatican, emphatically states that "adultery is adultery, even if it is virtual. It is just as sinful as the real thing." The Bible is clear on the matter of online cyberaffairs. It is adultery. Jesus warned about adultery of the heart: "You have heard it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery;' but I say to you, that every one who looks on a woman to lust for her has committed adultery with her already in his heart." (Matthew 5:27-28). Adultery can be committed in one’s mind just as it can be committed physically.

To help spouses determine if their loved one is involved in an adulterous, online cyberaffair, the following list of seven signs are presented from Dr. Kimberly Young’s book, Caught in the Net (1998). It should be noted that many of these symptoms are no different from the symptoms of an affair occurring in the face-to-face world. Some may be an indication that one’s partner is simply overusing the Internet.

1. Change in sleep patterns - Chat rooms and meeting places for cybersex don’t heat up until late at night, so the cheating partner tends to stay up later to be part of the action. Often, the partner begins coming to bed in the early-morning hours. Others may start getting up an hour or two earlier in the morning and begin e-mailing their new romantic partner.
   
2. A demand for privacy - If someone begins cheating on their spouse via the Internet, they will often go to great lengths to hide the truth from their spouse. With a cyberaffair, this attempt usually leads to the search for greater privacy and secrecy surrounding their computer usage. The computer may be moved from the den to a secluded corner of a locked study or the password may be changed. If disturbed or interrupted while online, the cheating spouse may react with anger or defensiveness.
   
3. Household chores are ignored - When any Inernet increases his or her time online, household chores often go undone. That is not an automatic sign of a cyberaffair, but in a marriage dirty dishes, piles of laundry, and un-mowed lawns indicate that someone else or something else is competing for the suspected person’s attention. In an intimate relationship, sharing household chores is regarded as an integral part of a basic commitment. When a spouse begins to invest more time and energy online and fails to keep up his or her end of the household bargain, it could signal a diminished commitment to the relationship.
   
4. Evidence of lying - The cheating spouse may hide credit card bills for online services, telephone bills for calls made to a cyberlover, or lie about the reason for such extensive net use. Most spouses lie to protect their online Internet habit, but those engaging in a cyberaffair have a higher stake in concealing the truth which prompts bigger and bolder lies.
   
5. Personality changes - A spouse is often surprised and confused about their partner’s mood and behavior changes during excessive Internet activity. A once warm and sensitive wife becomes cold and withdrawn. A fomrer jovial husband turns quiet and serious. If questioned about these changes in connection with their Internet habit, the spouse engaging in a cyberaffair will typically respond with heated denials, blaming, and rationalization. Often, the blame is shifted to the questioning spouse. For a partner once willing to communicate about issues of conflict, this could be a smokescreen for a cyberaffair.
   
6. Loss of interest in sex - Some cyberaffairs evolve into phone sex or an actual rendezvous, but cybersex alone often includes mutual masturbation during online communication. When a spouse suddenly begins to show a decreased interest in sex, it may be an indicator that he or she has found another sexual outlet. If sexual relations continue in the relationship, the cheating spouse may be less enthusiastic, energetic, and responsive to their partner.
   
7. Declining investment in the relationship - Those engaged in a cyberaffair no longer want to participate in the marital relationship even when their busy Internet activity allows it. They shun familiar rituals like a shared bath, talking over the dishes after dinner, or renting a video on Saturday night. They don’t get as excited about taking vacations together and avoid talking about long-range plans involving the family or friends. Because they are having fun with someone else and their thoughts revolve around fantasies with their cyberlover, there is little effort put forth to build intimacy with their spouse.