How To Aggressively Love Your Wife

"Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for it… so husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. (Eph. 5:25, 28) Note: Men, the greatest thing that you could ever do for your wife is to aggressively love her for a lifetime.

Three fundamental observations:

1. Most men do not know how to aggressively love their wives.
2. Most men are too lazy or self-centered to aggressively love their wives.
3. Most men do not realize the dangers of not aggressively loving their wives.

• Physical ailments (stress/insecurity)
• Poor example of marital love for the children to follow
• A rebellious wife (insecurity - resentment - disrespect - bitterness)
• Emotional divorce
• Physical divorce
• Rebellious children (wife’s lack of respect inbred in children)

Note: The husband plays the primary/critical role in creating an effective and joyful marriage. (Remember, loving is a two-way street but the primary burden is placed upon him.) Loving your wife is a full time job that takes full time effort, but the gains outweigh the pains.

How can I aggressively love my wife?

"Likewise you husbands, dwell with them (i.e. wives) with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered." I Peter 3: 7

1. Put her at the center of your life. ( "giving honor" = to esteem, to highly regard)
   
   • Your commitment to her should be second only to Christ - she is your top priority. Quit telling her and start showing her! (She needs to know that she is vastly more important to you than your job, your club, your hobby, your friends, your car, your money, etc.)
   
   • She is your primary ministry. You may succeed at everything else but if you fail at aggressively loving her you have missed your greatest God-given opportunity.
   
   • She needs to know that she is the most important person in your life. ("Where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.")
   
   
2. Discover and start meeting her basic needs. ("dwell with her in understanding")
   
   • Real love is concerned with meeting her basic needs
   
   • To meet her needs you must first know what they are
   
   A. She needs (verbal) affirmation.
   B. She needs affection.
   C. She needs caring conversation
   D. She needs emotional security.
   E. She needs financial security.
   F. She needs family commitment.
   
   
3. Recognize her basic differences ("as to the weaker vessel").
   
   A. Physical Women have greater constitutional vitality in terms of life span; in U.S. they outlive men 3-5 years. A woman’s blood cells contain more water and 20% fewer red cells (supply oxygen to body’s cells); this is why she is more prone to tire easily and faint. Men have 50% more brute strength than women. 40% of a male’s body weight is muscle; for a woman, 23 %.
   
   B. Emotional Women are generally more sensitive than men. They rely more on their feelings. They find fulfillment in close relationships and being loved. Men tend to overlook the importance of emotional intimacy in relationships.
   

Key thought: A wise husband discerns that his role is crucial in achieving oneness.